It Doesn’t Get Better Than This…

That’s what my doctor said to me at our appointment just before transfer yesterday. This has been a phenomenal cycle, the kind I’ve only ever read about before from others… never for me, so I’m a bit in awe that it’s actually happening.

Of our 20 embryos, 15 were of freezable quality – two were hatching and graded 5AA – we opted to transfer one of the hatching 5AA  blasts and to freeze the next top 10 embryos and discard the rest. I realise that sounds harsh but we had to consider what the point of freezing them would be when realistically I am only prepared to come back for one more cycle and even that is questionable right now, I’m pretty over all of this and want to get on with our lives. Even 10 being frozen seems excessive, but you never know what can happen and I want to assure we have at least one top quality one if we come back or we might do PGD on them if we have to come back one more time, it just gives us options really.

So the bottom right embryo was transferred yesterday and I’m feeling very positive and hopeful that this might just be the sibling we’ve been chasing.

I went for acupuncture with a lovely lady named Sarah Hewland who fitted me in on short notice and I’ll see her again on Friday for a second session.

I have two more days in Cape Town – most of it will be spent bumming around, I’m going to head up to the movies in a bit and see Passenger in 3D, eat some popcorn and might even head to another session in the afternoon and see Sing! I never get to go to the movies at home so it’s a bit of a treat and two in one day is unheard of! Tomorrow I’m having a facial in the morning, acupuncture,  then going to pick up some Wonki Ware homewares I purchased the other day (the lovely lady is packing it for travel for me) and buying a few gifts for family.  I’ll then have dinner in the top end restaurant downstairs here at the hotel and try to get a good nights rest before the flight home on Saturday. It’s been a nice trip, I’m missing the family of course but it’s been relatively stress free and enjoyable – I feel relaxed and happy that we’ve done everything we can this cycle. The rest is up to the embryo.


D Day and V Day…

Is it wrong that I’m really looking forward to 10mgs of Valium this morning?

I’ve woken up early because the baby was grizzling in the cot (5.30am thank you very much) she’s subsequently gone back to sleep and I’m having a sneaky cup of tea and alone time downstairs.

It’s possible transfer day today and according to one very well regarded fertility specialist in Australia it’s advisable to have 10mgs of Valium an hour prior to transfer to relax the uterus (he also advises a nip of whiskey or brandy for blood flow but it’s a bit early in the day even for me) . We could potentially be having our transfer today so I have to cover all bases and take that Valium at 9am. If those 4 embryos are looking great and we decide to go to day 5, well I’ll just be very vague for the rest of the day and do it all again on Wed! If we do transfer today then it’s back to the couch and some trashy rom coms for me.

I have to say my husband is loving this as it’s also recommended to have sex the night before/day of transfer to prime the uterus with sperm so he’s really making sure we cover that base. Poor bugger has been a bit deprived since the baby arrived. Can’t say it’s ever on my ‘to do’ list anymore. I’m hoping once all the drugs stop and I drop some weight things will equalise in this department.

If I’m completely honest, I’m really not holding much hope for these embryos – I’m not entirely sure why but call it gut feel. I’m fully expecting to get in there today and they will say that all of them have arrested. If this does happen we will be offered frozen eggs from the egg bank and a different donor I’m pretty sure – everyone gets a transfer at CFC and that’s part of the reason I use them. I can’t help wondering now, what was thinking choosing a 25 year old donor who has a long term boyfriend,uses no contraception and has never been pregnant? You get all this info on their profile by the way, but I didn’t twig that this could be an issue until we were well into the process. I had her AMH tested and it came back on the high end of the scale, her resting follicle count was good. But I’ve had this nagging feeling about the fact there’s never been a ‘whoops’ moment with someone sexually active not using contraception. Just like me, the infertile. Anyway – there’s nothing for it now… we have to see this through.

Not sure what we’ll walk in to at 10am but I know I’m still not emotionally caught up in all of this – I’m practical, methodical, tactical, but not emotional. Now pass me that valium.

Transfer Day #2

I am officially PUPO. It took me ages to work out what PUPO stood for back in the day when I first joined parenting forums. For those who are still in the dark, it’s “pregnant until proven otherwise” kind of lame, but it is what it is.

My transfer time was at 11.15am and me being me I turned up an hour early just simply so I wouldn’t be late, I figured it would give me time to have a coffee and drink the fluids I needed for my full bladder transfer. They were running a bit behind which isn’t unusual and I was prepared for this, but I really dislike transfers, I always feel like I’m going to pee myself as soon as that speculum goes in and today was no different. Thankfully there wasn’t a lot of faffing around. My doctor and I had a quick meeting and I was advised that the second embryo that was behind at the time of freezing had not made the thaw. This really didn’t surprise me and actually took the decision out of my hands whether to transfer one or two, the other embryo was and expanding day 5 that looked ‘really good’.  Then we were off to the transfer room, legs up and and practice insertion of the catheter, then my embryos flashed up on the screen in the corner of the room, they matched up my ID number with ID number on the dish, they pushed the bad embryo out of the way, sucked up the good embryo and transferred by guided ultrasound. It’s pretty cool to see it going in to your uterus and I was trying to concentrate on this and not peeing.  Once the lab double check that the embryo is not in the catheter it’s speculum out and legs down ladies. My doctor tells me it all went really well, the lovely  nurse pats me on the hand and wishes me luck and I’m given 10 minutes to lay there or leave … it’s up to me. I choose to go pee and leave.  And so here we are, PUPO.

I headed straight back to the hotel for a lovely lunch downstairs while my room was being cleaned – I added in a farewell glass of pinot and now I’m back in my room about to embark on a rom com marathon from my bed.  I head home tomorrow and I’ll be glad to get there. Poor hubby is struggling a big juggling working full time and the baby… Grandma can’t do as much as she thought she could which is understandable, she is 77 after all and lifting a 8.5kg baby of her play mat or out of her swing is not easy even at 43! I’m looking forward to giving E lots of smooches and cuddles and will likely cry every time I look at her for the next week or two. I miss that little mite so much.