Expect the Unexpected

Our donor got pregnant. How very dare she! I won’t lie, I was a mess for a good 2-3 days after getting that news early last week. So much rides on a donor cycle, it’s not just the cycle outcome, it’s your career, your next steps as a family, it’s the size of the house you’re looking to move into next – it’s all of that. So all that flashes before your eyes when something changes – this time it also effects my daughter, she won’t have a full genetic sibling and for that I’m really sorry. So after the tears stopped about 3 days later I realised we have three options moving forward.

  1. Use our 2 x 3AB blastocycsts from our cycle last year with our second donor
  2. Do another full fresh cycle with a new donor (proven only – I’d be freakin’ ruthless)
  3. Call it a day and be happy with our lot.

My hesitation with option 1 is that out of 3 transfers (and 6 embryos) no recipient has seen a positive result myself included with that donor, for me that doesn’t bode well. I just have a feeling we’ll be spending good money after bad with that option. Add to this, she’s been in a committed relationship for 5 years not using contraception and has never had a ‘whoops’ moment of pregnancy and I’m suspicious about egg quality. Also we would only transfer 1 embryo at a time (we don’t want twins) with each FET costing us $4-5k when you multiply that by two trips potentially we are almost at the cost of new fresh cycle.  Also we were going to pay for a fresh/full cycle with my daughters donor (this is my reasoning to my husband) so it’s not like we hadn’t budgeted those costs into our lives already.

I really don’t know… I’m so sick of bleeding money over this. Sick of thinking about protocols, jabbing clexane and all the rest. I just want to blink and it be BT day. I’ve done this so.many.freakin.times ….

Tell me in the comments guys … what would you do?