There is a Light and it Never Goes Out…

It’s been harder than I anticipated to step off the IVF band wagon. When you’ve been doing something, no make that consumed by something for 5 years, it’s hard to simply tip your hat and bid it adieu.

I know we can’t go again at least for the next 12 months so I need to take a break but I really really can’t bring myself to say ‘that’s it, I’m done for good’.  My husband’s only real concern is our age. I’m currently 43, he’s 39 – in passing he’ll mention number 2 in conversation, or say ‘if we change our minds’ so I think given some breathing room and with my hopefully improved health post weight-loss surgery, he will come around to going again.

I’d never understood the angst of secondary infertility until now… I figured, you’ve got one, what’s your problem lady? And to a large degree that is true and I think that about myself… but there is an underlying want to give E a sibling for her future. It’s probably not helped this week by the fact that we are simply running out of room in this tiny house and I’ve had to start posting things for sale on Gumtree etc. I can’t quite bring myself to do the 00000 clothes and up but will have to soon *sniff*  I’m starting with bouncers and swings and working my way into her super cute clothing.


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