Almost here…

Just over a week until we leave now – I’m mentally trying to get my head around the trip and what I need to pack both for the house we’re staying at and for the flight. Travel takes on a whole new limiting dimension with a baby let me tell you!

I took E to the GP yesterday as the only other time she has flown she ended up with a perforated eardrum so I wanted to make sure she was looking good to fly and to have her ears checked again, all good at the moment. I also got my GP to give me 3 blood test referral forms so I don’t have to go back in if I do get a positive result, she’s promised to call me the moment any results come through.  I also got a referral from her for weight loss surgery, so if this cycle is a bust then this is my new focus – I have battled with my weight my whole life, been on numerous diets since I was 15, gained and lost 30kgs about 5 times and I’m frankly sick of it. In the last 5 years things have really gone downhill though with my feet and pretty bad plantar fascia which makes it hard for me to exercise, when I do I’m in agony and limping around, my ankle is constantly swollen so I walk differently to take pressure off the ankle which in turn throws my back out. Yep I’m old and fat. I don’t want to be like this for E’s sake.. and I’ve also developed pre-diabetes so it’s time to do something about it.  If I do get pregnant then I will be b doing the surgery soon after the delivery, I think the minimum is 8 weeks post C section, but I’ll discuss all this with the surgeon at the end of Oct during my consult.

The husband is still in Europe and home on Friday night thankfully! It’s been a pretty hard couple of weeks and we have 4 new teeth that are almost through. To be honest I’ve not really even given this cycle much thought, the donor agency contacted me last week saying that my donor was very excited to be starting her stims this week which is sweet.  I think I’m looking forward to the family holiday as much as anything and the husband really needs some time off. I’m looking forward to tootling around Cape Town and seeing the sights – having a few wines by the ocean, eating good food and what happens with this cycle will happen. I’ve got to say it’s nice to be going into a cycle with no anxiety about the outcome. That could change in coming days but for now I’m feeling very Zen about it.

Tough Week…

and’s it’s only bloody Tuesday! I have a teething baby, I’m solo parenting at the moment and I got mowed down by two Kelpies in the park yesterday (my own), as if I didn’t have enough aches and pains already now I’m really hurting. I took them down for a quick run at the dog park while my sister sat with E yesterday back at home. We’d been there not even 5 minutes when they started chasing each other like idiots at full pelt, they tend to play/harass each other while running and Dennis (yes that’s his name) grabs Buster’s collar while they are running so it’s this big 45kg mass of dog heading towards me erratically. You can’t tell which way they might go, Buster isn’t even looking where he’s running he’s looking at Dennis who has him by the neck, I go to jump out of the way and they go the same way take out my right leg and I full flat on my right side in the mud.  My right side is already pretty effed up, due to severe plantar fascia in my right foot which has changed my gait and makes my right ankle swell, and my right knee is dicky already, I still have a lingering pain from the de quervains tendonitis in my right arm… and now I’m bruised all down that side as well. I woke up feeling like I’d been hit by two Kelpies.

In other news, the baby is teething hard… her gums are bulging, you can see the teeth about to erupt, she’s irritable, unable to sleep, not wanting food, sore, grumpy …. miserable little mite. So we’ve both had barely any sleep – she’s normally pretty good at night only getting up around 11pm for a bottle before going down for the night. Not so at the moment – she was up watching Bachelor in Paradise with me at 11pm last night  alternating between cuddles with me and in her swing with her teething ring in her mouth… then I was up and down all night putting dummy in, patting, consoling, putting on teething gel. In the end I gave up and put her in with me and we had a cuddle and nap at about 4am, until the bloody cat started farting around on the bedside table with my husbands loose coins.  Normally they sleep in the laundry outside but it was -1 last night and I felt sorry for them so left them in… never again!

I am obviously starved for adult conversation at the moment judging by this blog post. It’s going to be a long two weeks!

Must Be the Season of the Witch…

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Gah…  and she shows up. I’m really not sure why? I’ve been on Synarel for about 10 days now, I thought that would thwart her efforts, but apparently not. I love how she waits until hubby is out the door and I’m solo parenting and in true Murphy’s Law the baby decided to wake up every hour last night from 1am until 7am (I went to bed at midnight).  So I’m not feeling all that flash today!

At first I panicked thinking it would effect my cycle, but I double checked my plan and if I had a normal regular cycle, I’d only be due to start estrogen on the 22nd anyway so this is kind of backwards, perfect timing… I could have done without the 10 days of Synarel though and those godawful cramps!

The husband has been doing some baby info recon for me on his trip over to Europe, querying the Singapore Airlines staff about the logistics of travelling with the baby – yes we can take our stroller right up to the gate, they will take it from us there and give it to us again at the other side in our transit in Singapore. Yes we can all use the Gold Lounge in Singapore for a shower and some food etc. (thank God!). I also asked him to check out the baby bassinets in economy for me to see what we are in for, but I doubt he will.

I’m glad we decided to fly Singapore in the end. They ended up being the cheapest for us to use as we had some points to put towards the trip, but also they have a great reputation as the best airline to fly internationally with children, we can use the posh lounge while in transit, the food is generally ok and we earn more points by using them. Down side is, it’s a slightly longer trip with them by about 3 hours.

Ok I have to go – lady muck has awoken from her slumber…

Timeline

So here is the time line for my upcoming cycle.

  • 05 Sept – we depart for Cape Town
  • 06 Sept – arrive Cape Town
  • 07 Sept – Lining scan at clinic
  • 09 Sept- Estimated EPU
  • 14 Sept – Estimated Transfer
  • 20 Sept – Depart Cape Town
  • 24 Sept – BT

So I’ll admit here, I ALWAYS work out the due date as soon as I know my pick up/transfer date or even an estimate… so baby would be due June 1.

You can do yours too http://ivf.ca/duedate.php

Feeling Better

As the title would suggest, I am feeling much better now, yesterday I had no issues either. I think it is to do with hormone suppression – and probably because I started Synarel mid cycle as well. I envision the cogs of my natural cycle grinding to a halt and the artificial hormones making it work backwards. Just thinking about it hurts my ovaries.

So now the impending cycle is beginning to feel real, I’m thinking about this 22 hour flight with the baby, compiling a list of things to pack, working out logistics in my head. So much to factor in when travelling with a little one and trying not to over do it, but at the same time have all bases covered. I’m buying disposable everything which is so un-me, we are a cloth nappy, cloth wipe kind of family … so it’s feeling weird to buy things to just chuck them away.

I’m also suddenly stressing about the house we are staying in which has a loft bedroom, the lovely woman there is leaving her cot out for us and also the change table, but I’m hoping the cot is in the main bedroom as E is used to sleeping in with us, and us with her. I’m taking my video monitor with us, her sleep bag etc. maybe a blanket, but that’s about it. I’m also now concerned about security at the house, does it have an alarm, will we be safe… it’s in a good suburb and looks lovely in the pictures, but I start to worry about things.

I’ve barely thought about the actual cycle which seems really surreal… last time I was obsessed with it, this time it’s about getting through the travel! Nothing much will be happening with the donor yet anyway, she’d be on the pill and will start stimming about 10 days before I arrive. I start estrogen and clexane in about 10 days, I guess it will feel more real then too.

I’m off to lunch with a few of my old work crew today – that will be nice … and good too get out of the house – E loves it these days and loves to people watch, the extra bonus is that it makes her sleep so much better as well.

Rough Start….

My uterus feels like it wants to fall out of my body. I’m not sure why but these last two cycles have been very rough for me physically in the beginning. I was fine until a couple of days ago when the cramping started. It feels exactly like after an egg pick up in IVF, this morning I was waddling down the hallway like some sort of cowboy and dreaming of popping an Endone  – the pain was excruciating. I had a bath and neurofen and had to meet some friends for lunch – I forced myself to go and I’m glad I did as it abated when I got there.

Perhaps this is how it is after having a baby? I’m not sure – if anyone who has had a baby and done IVF soon after could shed some light that would be great! I’m hoping (like last time) it will last a few days and then not come back… who knows, all that is getting me through is the thought in my head “this is the last time you’ll ever do this!”.

It’s only about 3.5 weeks until we go, but it’s kind of sneaking up on me this time, I’ve put the cycle out of my mind now that we’ve paid and booked for everything. Once the husband is back from Europe it will begin to feel very real I’m sure.

Breathe

I took a deep breath, may or may not have had a valium and I calmed down a bit after my last post.

Finally our dates came through on Tuesday night so I have been able to book everything in this has eased my anxiety and my worry about money (not that we have much to spare) which is good.

I’m honestly not sure how I feel about this cycle – whether I’m positive or not, mostly I feel apathetic which is weird. I’m sort of excited at the concept of being pregnant again, of possibly seeing two lines on a test and the early scans etc. but don’t actually want to do a pregnancy again if that makes any sense, I just want to wake up with a new baby and skip all the drama, anxiety and let’s face it aches and pains of pregnancy, I just want the kicks in the tummy, the excitement of shopping for new outfits for a little one and want to skip the de quervains tendinitis, Gestational Diabetes (which I’m sure to have given my prediabetic status now) bad back, morning sickness etc. The first time around it was a revelation, now I know how it can feel I’m really kind of dreading those things and wondering if my body will cope. But I have to keep my eye on the prize.

I haven’t written about E much lately because I guess this is trying to conceive blog, not a parenting blog, but I have to say, she is now fun – I am enjoying her a lot more these days. Hubby has to go to Europe again in 10 days or so for a fortnight and I’m not panicking like I did last time, I’m not already planning my days and how I’m going to get through the two weeks. She loves going out now, she loves watching people, she loves the car seat (which makes all the difference) she sleeps relatively well and we have a routine that is seeming to work. Sometimes when we hit a rough patch I picture throwing a newborn into the mix and panic but push it to the side and think of them at 4 years old when I can say ‘go outside and play’. It’s the only way I can get through.

So my period never arrived which is no great surprise given my progesterone was at 1.3 on Friday – so I’ve started Synarel, I’m still not sure if I should expect a period at some stage or not? The clinic in SA didn’t really say – if one does start, I don’t think it really matters as the estrogen will stop it again pretty quickly. That’s not due to start until the 22nd.

We’ve booked our flights and I’m open to any tips of flying with at 10 month old on long haul flights! I’m hoping she will still actually fit in the bassinet – she will be right for weight limit but she’s getting long now, I guess we will just have to see on the day.

Tonight I’ll set about buying my donor a gift. I am going to get her silver real leaf pendant – a cast of an Australian Native plant so it has some connection to my location I guess. They really are very pretty and she  has said that she is a nature lover so it should hopefully suit her tastes.